DOES NOT MAKE ME BRAVE.

Looking for underlying reservations;

Searching for issues that may surface,

There aren't any! why be suspicious?  

Been too long in the habit of conflicting

energies, harmony's come but one is 

stifled, at regular times of inspiration 

when 'no' is said repeatedly, an obstacle 

appears in ones nature, blocked ideas cannot 

find emotional release or a positive outlet

for all to see, while being held in a closet not to be seen,

Just a need to be heard with ones time

in discourse is all that's necessary for letting off steam,

And as for this phase of serenity I've entertained apathy, 

Far from the courts of wellbeing's need;

Harmony in ones self so fancy free,

is marred by the shadow self's dealings, 

Nick pickings of conscience that something's

afoot as blindness walks over rational mental

pages of ones personal book,

to disrupt the self and discourage creative ferver

into pangs of doubt  while wearing old boots, past

reference pushes one down to take a second look,

Insecurity, vulnerability dances again,

Kept hidden from watchful eyes and a loved one's gaze,

I prod myself into an enforced haze, 

of freedom, mentally running away 

wallowing intently in a creative maze,

Plucking up the courage to start, 

Revving the motors in strength of attitude 

honed like a shiny, magnificent new car, 

Proud without influence sure like a mage,

For in this harmony rattling my cage,

This breath of transient, good effect in reverie

Does not make me brave!